Okey, so maybe you didn't like the poetry. Not to worry. There's more where that's coming from. Now then, as you may have figured, we're into the charity thing. Spread the love: handicapped, poor, underdeveloped, we love them all...So, here's the next scheme (hoping you find this a little more acceptable)
By way of background I can tell you that the offer was made to only one organization-the United States government, and just prior to the inauguration of George Bush (Jr) in 2000. The Whitehouse ignored my offer and my God-Friend rained on Mr. Bush's parade. Even so, gotta give us credit for thinking original and big, no? So, here's the scheme---
WEATHER TO GO INC.
Planning an extra special occasion? Now you can order your very own personalised weather. Choose from a wide variety of effects some of which are noted below. All proceeds go to assisting the world’s poor, handicapped and other needy persons.
National, state and municipal governments are encouraged to take advantage of this unique service, which is invaluable in ensuring the perfect weather for that special occasion. Imagine having personalized weather for such important events as the inauguration ceremony for the next American President, Remembrance Day Parades and so forth. Requests will be honoured as to the disposal of funds: municipalities, for example, may ask that all proceeds be distributed within a specific geographical location.
Special organisations too may benefit from this literally priceless service. Order your perfect weather for the Orange Bowl Parade, the Indianapolis 500, New Years celebrations in Times Square and so forth..
How is this service made possible? Weather to Go represents an effort undertaken by a select group of ‘handicapped’ persons all dedicated to improving their personal relationship with a higher power while improving the quality of life for downtrodden persons around the globe. Simply put, we’ve got an ‘in’ with the BIG ONE…..
SERVICES OFFERED:
Rain, snow, wind, thunder storms, electrical storms, clear days, overcast days, sky hues (pink, blue, grey, orange) fog, mist, hail, heat lightening and shooting stars, cloud pictures and other special effects (including rainbows, see below)
PRICES:
All listed prices are estimates only and meant to provide the user with a ‘ballpark’ figure.
A) Full day excluding special effects: cloud pictures, shooting stars, mist, fog, hail, electricity, etc:
$2,500,000.00 - $5,000,000.00

Half day excluding cloud pictures, shooting stars, mist, fog, hail, electricity, etc:
$2,000,000.00 - $3,750,000.00
Prices include:
i) choice of sky hue including sunrise and sunset (blue, grey, pink, orange);
ii) temperature within 3 degrees, however order must not deviate 25 degrees from average temperature for geographic area and time of year;
iii) wind velocity (excluding windstorms or extremely deviant wind patterns);
iv) general statement, including overcast depressing weather with or without rain (ideal for funerals), clear sunny days (ideal for weddings although a light mist is recommended to give a diamond air effect though for additional cost) and so forth;
v) the option to have your general statement changed once during the course of the time period and at a time of your choice (within fifteen to thirty minutes accuracy depending on complexity of order)
vi) your choice of any time period;
vii) your choice of any geographical location on the planet Earth;
Special Effects:
Electrical storms –prices vary depending on general statement ordered;
Heat lightening – prices vary depending on general statement ordered;
Heat lightening together with electrical bolts - prices vary depending on general statement ordered;
Mist - prices vary depending on general statement ordered (though quite pricey);
Fog - prices vary depending on general statement ordered;
Hail - $8,000,000.00
Snow –specify volume/ intensity of fall –prices range depending on the request, geographical area and customary weather patterns.
Carpet of Diamonds ground covering for Christmas Eve and Day available. Process involves controlled weather patterns for a minimum forty-eight hour period. Due to complexity and geographical location selected, prices vary from $1,000,000.00 - $50,000,000.00. Please note that the geographical location must have had one snowstorm sometime in the months November – January during documented history
Shooting Stars – $10,000,000.00 per
TERMS OF PAYMENT
Upon entering into a contract with Weather to Go Inc., the user shall provide a down payment equivalent to five percent of the total cost of services requested. These monies shall be deposited with a reputable charitable organisation of the user’s choice to be held in trust pending completion of the contractual dealings between Weather to Go Inc. and the user. In the event of cancellation, the user shall be refunded all monies deposited with the exception of 1%, it being understood that these monies be absorbed by Weather to Go Inc. to cover administration fees.
In addition to the above, the user agrees to provide a further payment equivalent to 45% of the total purchase price to be deposited with a reputable charitable organisation of the user’s choice to be held in trust as above and not later than 60 days prior to the date upon which the weather has been ordered. If the user cancels at any time following this payment, the user agrees that a total of 2% of all monies deposited shall be withheld to the benefit of Weather to Go Inc. and for the purpose of covering expenditures associated with administration.
No cancellation shall be permitted forty eight hours prior to the time the weather is scheduled to occur. In this case, the user shall forfeit 100% of all monies deposited in trust to the benefit of Weather to Go Inc. and such monies shall be immediately transferred to Weather to Go Inc..
The final payment representing fifty percent of the total purchase price shall be directed to Weather to Go Inc. within 30 days after completion of services ordered.
In the event that the weather ordered does not materialise, the user is entitled to a refund representing 100% of all monies deposited and any involved charitable organisation shall be instructed to immediately return such funds.
PLACING ORDERS
Orders may be placed at any time provided that sixty days notice is given. For example, the National Football League should place its order for a Super Bowl game scheduled for January 4, 2001 prior to November 4, 2000.
Special circumstances may exist which entitle one to expedited service though this is generally discouraged as it tends to cause major weather disturbances in different areas of the globe.
To make an application, please contact: specialagentgreenbean