Jim Morrison Suicide Pam Courson Options

[waiting for her]

For Jim Morrison

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseacti...ideoid=24406282


nice photo John in your website
thank you
it's not much but it's a little step towards the truth
better the truth than this mask of overdosed drunkard idiot
romance is far beautiful, even when it goes wrong

it was in 2003 and since then I can't see the doors message board
I can't write
I can't see

if I can't write for all the people then my days of death are coming to an end
for 37 years I've been having a type of death going and maybe it's time to reborn
I started very innocent and foolish and coming here now it's for an elite
the big chunk of fans don't come here to this board, I've become a witness for an inner circle



my claim of rebirth is a problem for everybody, not a joy
if Jesus would be back on earth it would be a problem for everybody, not a joy
that's why he is not coming, the thing you did to him the last time he was around makes him think twice
you'd do it again
the truth being told that Jim Morrison shot himself in the head is a problem for everybody, not a motivation to know the man and finally find his heart
why he did that
who was he

for Jim there were only two things worth investing: romance and poetry
he loved Pam but he was also young and full of life
like any young person he wanted to satisfy his hunger to live
there's no wrong in that
except that you get old
and one day you come to realize what kind of things you want to keep and what kind of things you can now drop
because you had them
because you lived them
because you've taken the juice of it all
it's the normal way of things
not morally wrong, not morally right
it's the way our society has brought us to be until we find a path by ourselves that's ours and unpolluted by society and all that social and cultural programming
when it all becomes a repetition you go: ha! got it

and that's what happened, ha! got it
Jim invested his fond deep affections on romance and poetry
his little investment on his parents ended up having dramatic consequences when the time came and he had no other emotional crutch but Pam, or so he thought, wrongly thought
but like it happens to young couples things are hot today and tomorrow they are cold
Pam was getting colder and distant
Her reasons are not the issue
I only care about Jim's reasons, even if wrong, and they certainly were wrong and full of false morality
maybe Jim ended up not understanding democracy in young love hearts and he expected Pam to be there always now that ha! got it had come to him
girl you gotta love your man
back in those days women were supposed to be always there when the man was ready
wrong Jim, wrong
in the meantime Pam had gotten new friends, she could move around the scene by herself
Jim kept getting her back giving her money, buying her clothes, doing everything she wanted
He had invested in Pam with his emotions, his fragile morality
Jim kept going back to her and when she wasn't there he would bring her back, he used money as a bait
he opened his pockets to her and let her in charge
later he writes: how could this be done to me great dancer's witness
he knew he had been feeding the situation
our love's in jeopardy
maybe for a few seconds he saw the danger
but he loved her
he could see no way out
his heart was there
deep inside he thought she loved him
and then he didn't
and then he did again
and finally he realized that maybe it was his wish that she loved him still
then Paris arrived
Pam was young, although addicted to heroin she wasn't wasted
she was full of life
she wanted to try things, to meet people, to be in the top places, to be a Princess, to experiment everything a young woman wants to experiment
like you, like me, like everybody
he asked her to give back the money she spent
the emotional investment
it's time that she takes care of him because he wants to settle down
he wants to settle down, she must want it too
he is tired of those kind of people, she must be tired too
he wants to marry her but he is trapped in the indecision of whether she deserves it or not
whether it's gonna be a waste or a good investment
yet he never once thought of it in this terms: investment
that is a word I use now to describe his emotional involvement
he never had the detachment to look at it like this, or else he would have lived
when you're out you can see it differently, when you're in it's the end - you see it as the end, you put it on drastic terms
he had been buying her company, that's what Jim felt at last
you can't buy love
and if romance fails then what's left?
Poetry is

if I will have to go on without you
I will not go

Here there is at least poetry
And there you are not




This post has been edited by waiting for her: Oct 9 2009, 09:09 PM

[waiting for her]

- anyways, I'm Jim Morrison. who da fuck are you little girl?

- well big boy, I'm the one who's going to reduce you to shit!

- is there any special poem that I wrote that you like?

- "I'm not talking to an imaginary girl, I'm talking to you, myself"

- see? I was thinking of you

- of course! it's always the woman who pays. she pays for the mistakes that men do!

- I never mean to hurt you

- but you did hurt me when you hurt yourself. you had all the fun and I have all the trouble

- I hurt too. I lost my cock and the world

- and I lost parental affection. they divorced I was only 2 years old. and so I never had brothers and sisters. my love life is damned from the day I was born and the poetry has no value for me anymore. I don't believe in it. I don't believe in drinking or doing drugs. I was forced to wake up because you slept too much!

- I had no idea it was going to be like that

- ha! see how much of a big shit you are?! you the top of the heights! the most philosophical and smart kid in the class. yet you didn't know the most important: what goes around comes around. my father doesn't give a shit about me, it's worse than if he was dead. my mother keeps fucking me and all because of your poetic heart, a well educated christian who runs from responsibility and calls his children illegitimate leaving them without a name!

-

- how dare you call your children illegitimate? what morality is that? your morality is bogus! you are a coward! a coward!

- I just wanted to stop my mind, find some peace inside

- you said you wanted to be a girl of 16

- you're not 16

- 16 august that's me.

- but you're not the queen of the magazine

- when I'm dead I'll be.

- here, have a drink

- no!

- do you want me to tell you about the shaman and how the whole tribe was healed?

- bullshit! the shaman is nothing but an addict. an addict who is accepted by the society he lives in. a type of priest who does drugs, that's all.

- maybe then I can tell you about Texas radio and ...

- nothing you say is relevant. you have nothing for me. I know much more than you ever did

- perhaps we can talk about paganism or the greeks

- the greeks were homosexual politicians, little boy sucks mentor prick, little boy gets fucked in the ass by mentor

- paganism then?

- paganism is old and full of superstition, it's a thing of dreams, fantasy, fables, childish stories. there is no meditation, no path to Buddha, no zazen, nothing that can help me relieve my troubles. I want a clear head not fairy tales from old traditions.

- I know what you want. You want to see my cock. I'm gonna show it to you, I'm gonna show it.

- I help you: look at his cock! look at his cock!

(a girl walks by)

- have you looked at my cock?

- she hasn't, she walked too fast. hey miss! come back here,

(a boy walks by)

- hey lad! look at his cock

- I did look

- no he didn't, tell him to come back

- lad, you are trying to deceive us. you didn't look.

- I did. I did

- you did but not properly. now look at his cock properly

- I did it properly

- so where's the photo?





This post has been edited by waiting for her: Nov 12 2009, 11:58 PM